不怕不怕 好好活 grizzlyM

Usher的Yeah，编舞简直太可爱了。不停地不停地看，持续YY中...以前很反感“可爱”，不过这真是三个cute hottie啊。红夹克虽然总是慢一拍，但看得出功力是极强的，看样子还有芭蕾基础，跳得有点小媚，估计和sexual orientation有关。带beanie的那位，混身是劲，还是编舞。头顶cap的，便是真正的小可爱啦，跳得随意，屁股一撅，真是so hot， so sexy.

昨天早上喝了半根苦瓜，直接喝吐了， 减肥真不是人做的事，为了减肥我不当人了。大学四年减了四年，怎么一点成效都没有！前段时间，好不容易下决心减，又无数次的夭折了，mamma mia 这样反反复复，重头开始，老子都要给折磨死了，被打击得信心全无，意志都给磨平了。未来两个星期，爆发吧，我的小宇宙，能减多少减多少，到了八月一号，我就坐饭桌前开始乖乖均衡我的饮食。饿了就找事干，要不干脆睡觉。这一回，no more excuses，please！

PS ： 小白~~你回家的目的可不是吃！

好久没看过教育片了，早知道是E片，一定去##看了，想当年，和其它小朋友们挂着鼻涕，手牵手，排排坐在##，在老师春风般的注视下，学习了小兵张嘎，闪闪的红星，离开某某的日子等众多某集团出产的开发低龄儿童智力的优秀教育片。无数次教育，让我深深记住了旁边某小朋友美好的侧脸。∵教育片数量=N，∴某=N。

小朋友们，是不是没弄懂啊？来，叔叔阿姨告诉你们为什么。  帅叔叔和漂亮阿姨不相信吴叔叔编故事的能力，吴叔叔也怕错对了先祖，他们都很体帖小朋友们，于是亲力亲为的用嘴巴给了很多解释。然后小朋友们在直白对白的轰炸下，终于弄懂了，原来赤壁之战是这么一回事啊，原来孙叔叔很帅啊，眼睛还能杀死人。孙叔叔，您第一次见更帅的诸葛叔叔时，您听他说话，猛扭转了头，脖子没伤着吧？

那个乔阿姨好漂亮，为小牛担心时，自己的身体、声音#########，难怪那位有点矮的周叔叔那么爱她索。

诸葛叔叔白衣飘飘，内心如焚，嘴角带笑：我需要冷静。你呢？

周叔叔的标准答案是：我也需要冷静。

how are you？

i'm fine thank you。and you？

i'm fine too。thank you。

小朋友们，是不是还有没弄懂的？没道理啊，每位叔叔阿姨都给你们解释了很多道理的嘛。关于做人，关于人生，关于信念。。。关于如何用嘴把一切搞砸。

吴叔叔的心血，5、6亿的票票就给只喜欢刀枪的小朋友们这样乱糟踏了啊？

实在不懂的，且听下回分解吧。

patty是野兽型的，VU才比较温柔啊

O，those fucking  pale shining eyes

PALE BLUE EYES

Sometimes I feel so happy,
Sometimes I feel so sad.
Sometimes I feel so happy,
But mostly you just make me mad.
Baby, you just make me mad.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

Thought of you as my mountain top,
Thought of you as my peak.
Thought of you as everything,
I've had but couldn't keep.
I've had but couldn't keep.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

If I could make the world as pure and strange as what I see,
I'd put you in the mirror,
I put in front of me.
I put in front of me.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

Skip a life completely.
Stuff it in a cup.
She said, Money is like us in time,
It lies, but can't stand up.
Down for you is up."
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

It was good what we did yesterday.
And I'd do it once again.
The fact that you are married,
Only proves, you're my best friend.
But it's truly, truly a sin.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.
Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

I WANT TO BE THE BOY THAT WARMS YOUR MOTHER'S HEART

I want to be the boy that warms your mother's heart
I'm so scared to take you away
I tried to win her over right from the start
But something always got in the way
We've been sitting in your backyard for hours
But she won't even come out and say hi
While my mother baked a little cake for you
And even dreaded when you said goodbye
What kind of cartwheels do I have to pull?
What kind of joke should I lay on her now?
I'm inclined to go finish high school
Just to make her notice that I'm around

Well nothing I come up with seems to work
It feels like everything I say is a lie
And never have a felt like such a jerk
I'm afraid to even open my eyes
Because I really don't want her to judge me
I want to her really know who I am
And then, and only then she will love me
Well at least that was the plan

If ever a boy needed a holiday
If ever a girl needed someone to hold
I just hope I don't act the same way
By the time that I get old

I never said I was the heir to a fortune
I never claimed to have any looks
But these kind of things must be important
Because somebody ripped out my page
In your telephone book

I want to warm her heart

WE ARE GOING TO BE FRIENDS

Fall is here,hear the yell
back to school,ring the bell
brand new shoes,walking blues
climb the fence,books and pens
I can tell that we're going to be friends

Walk with me,Suzy Lee
through the park and by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we found
then safely walk to school
without a sound

Well here we are,no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there's dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now its time to learn

Numbers,letters,learn to spell
nouns,and books,and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class,through the hall
teacher marks our height
against the wall

And we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed
when silly thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphbet
and when I wake tommorow I'll bet
that you and I will walk together again
cause I can tell that we're going to be friends

随它去吧，别把啥都当真了。活那么认真，没意思。和生活较真，输的都是自己吧。

ill try to laugh when i can , ill try to be a better man

      BLUE SUEDE SHOES --CHRIS GARNEAU 

      i hope you don't go away
　　i still have some nice things to do and say
　　i don't laugh when i can
　　i don't feel like a very good man
　　but you, you know me well
　　and wouldn't it be swell
　　to find nothing blue about me and you
　　your blue suede shoes
　　you left them on mine last night
　　after the wine and the fight
　　but we're a dime in a well
　　they're hard to find
　　those, they're mine
　　just thinking about me and you
　　your blue suede shoes
　　you left them on mine last night
　　its alright
　　i do, i take care of the love
　　cause red rockets fly if you don't
　　i'm always gonna worry about this
　　but you'll tell me its okay chris
　　i can't tell you why babies cry
　　out lies they wont keep us alive, no
　　i hope you don't go away
　　i still have some nice things to do and say
　　like we're a dime in a well
　　they're hard to find
　　those, they're mine
　　just thinking about me and you
　　and your blue suede shoes
　　you left them on mine last night
　　but its alright
　　ill try to laugh when i can
　　ill try to be a better man

don't  deny it  anymore，有人生来就该被人疼，有人就是没人管，正所谓冥冥之中自有定数。大家都很宝贝自己，不是么？有人骄傲，有人落寞，为自己多想想，不应该么？

讨厌自己好不容易主动一点，面对的常是不冷不热的语气和冷漠的脸，damn it，我知道我离perfect还差得远，nice都算不上，还很别扭，可我也不是这样回应的啊。我知道某些人绝不坏，我也算不上个多么好的人，但有些事，有些人，有时候总让我觉得没心没肺的。算了，就当历炼。懒得计较，累。管同志们什么态度，我还是坚持改变路线，主动点好。脸皮越厚越好，神经越粗越好，厚过城墙，粗过油管。

那天在街上见一很YY的人，算是极品，估计是脑瘫或小儿麻痹患者，很fashionable，看着很强大。

好想好想好想重读一遍高中和大学，设想了许多种过程，都是与现在不同的结局。大学整整四年，还是被我亲手搞砸了。

FUCK，虽然我很想骂，但我要开始好好的照顾自己，开始有点笨手笨脚，坚持了总会好起来。不美又有什么关系，生活照样继续。做不成妖孽，就好好做自己。我讨厌你盯着我摇头或叹气，说：不要糟遢自己。我正在学着，不要糟遢自己。

I know

it's boring

it's no fun

it's kind of hard

it's kind of tough

but i'm holding on

i'll never give it up

做了那么多年人，当了那么多年学生，学到的东西太少，成长几乎是0。周围的小朋友变成了大人，我还当自己在幼儿园。

其实自己挺能干的，用了那么多年慢慢地，不留痕迹地，终于把自己变成了那个不会被麻烦惹上的人，流言外的人，靠边站的人，难得清静，终得清静。真把自己当成了某种人，骗得自己都信了，还以为真是清心寡欲了。现形了吧，得报应了吧。整十年，所有经历让我醒悟了一点，逃避让我变得不是自己，逃避让我感到压抑，它帮了我十几年倒忙。再也回不去的高中和大学，我用黯淡的宝贝的学生时光领悟到这点，也算值了。今早煎蛋时突然想到自己是故意远离，现在纯属paying for it，就醒悟了，有些事不管有多难，就非得迎着上，真逃走了，就是对不住自己！

靠，溅老子一手油

昨天领了证，上缴了学生证，真的毕业了。看着无比空荡的校园，才知道学弟学妹们前一天就放假了。本想着回校打量打量~~~~们的，靠，这愿望都落空了。毕业就这样匆匆地让我措手不及。想当初，众多美好人物穿梭在校园，晃荡于村浠路，ND，老子跑哪去了？对美好的事物，某人的反应似乎总是慢n拍。美好的人儿啊...美好的事儿啊......兔爷昨说她挺伤感，我说我前几天绕着学校走了一圈又一圈，已经伤感完了。现在就觉得心里堵了啥似的，从今天起不是学生，从今天开始变无业游民，将长期流窜在成都的南边，幽闭于某一空间或混迹于人群，安抚我小小的敏感的心。想起小学的，初中的，高中的分离，那些他和她，有人说距离产生美，有人说不要忘了我。有些人有些事永远都忘不掉，只是一辈子都不会再有交集，退化成了无奈的记忆。曾经，现在，把太多事太当成回事，把太多人看得重要，累！学着不去care，这次一定要学会！

周围好多人都在离开，要离开。我从初中开始夸下的众多海口，已有好多人帮我在他们身上实现，只有我还在这儿挣扎，自己给自己织了张巨大的网，陷入痛苦，原地踏步。感觉自己还像小孩子，需要别人照顾别人宠，想要被人肯定被关注，总想懒省事，让别人帮我做决定。LL要去chicago，读一个她会当成事业的专业。我还坐在这里，我在干着什么？总照着他人的模式走，用他们的失算来阿Q，老子到现在一事无成。我的梦想被我一一掐了，想的都是将就将就算了，人长大了就这样了。我想我是怕惯了，怕好多，怕那些发生了的，怕会发生的，怕永远都不会发生的事。怕得太失败，怕得好累，怕得让我不再怕了。该干啥干啥，老子要痛痛快快地生活。

想起李安同志说过人生不能像做菜，把所有的料都准备好了才下锅。

他有才，我没有。他的路，没人能重复。

呵，fight to death比起平稳保守，总归是福。

老子蜗了n年，够了。

很久没有关心时尚了，Yves Saint Laurent去世这个不算时尚的消息，也直到今天才知道，所以，其实很多事都不关心了。YSL，这三个纤细的轻柔纠缠在一起的字符，在我的眼中，曾代表了法式优雅的极致，那时，我的脑袋里还没塞下那么多乱七八糟的东西。当轻轻地吐出Yves Saint Laurent，仿佛仍能感觉到气流所带来的细致与热情。Saint Laurent，迷一样的简单，小鹿般的脆弱，堡垒似的坚强，一个不能免俗的爱着男人的人。

Pierre Bergé：“这是我最后一次跟你说话，Yves……我记得我们的初次见面和过往种种。我们决定在一起的那天。……我记得以你的名字命名的第一系列，最后你流泪了。然后很多年过去了。时间过得多快呀。分手是避免不了的，但是爱从未终止。……Chanel和你是二十世纪伟大的女装设计师。她是第一半，你是第二半。……我不知道如何说再见，因为我永远不能离开你。我们永远不能一起看日落了。我们画画前，永远不能一起分享彼此的感情了。某天我会去摩洛哥的棕榈树下找你。”

我想有一间属于自己的浴室。有着温暖的，浅浅的干净色调，水气不会萦绕不去，阳光不会对它吝啬。浴缸大小合适就好，让我随时可以泡泡。浴缸旁有着大大的，低低的窗户，窗外有植物，有天空，有城市的轮廓。我可以看到路上的街灯，来来往往的车流，高耸的房顶，否则，一定会太寂寞。放一个矮矮的小圆桌，让我随心所欲的摆上一大捧花，几本书。暖暖的地板上，可以听听音乐，跳跳舞。时间，就这样缓缓泡过。